Chicago Bears
1020 3040 50 4030 2010
THE
DA BEARS
B U L L E T I N
"Bears News So Fake You'd Swear Da Coach Was Still Prowling Da Sideline."
1020 3040 50 4030 2010
Chicago Bears
Breaking
Chicago wind declared unofficial fourth-down specialist, opposing kickers request a formal introduction 1985 team once again cited as franchise's finest era, current roster politely asks for patience Soldier Field's horseshoe rim confirmed older than several current players' parents "Da Bears" nickname reaffirmed decades after the sketch that started it, refuses to die Chicago fans report full confidence in the quarterback room, historians note this sentence has been recorded before Chicago wind declared unofficial fourth-down specialist, opposing kickers request a formal introduction 1985 team once again cited as franchise's finest era, current roster politely asks for patience Soldier Field's horseshoe rim confirmed older than several current players' parents "Da Bears" nickname reaffirmed decades after the sketch that started it, refuses to die Chicago fans report full confidence in the quarterback room, historians note this sentence has been recorded before

1985 Vault Reports Record Attendance For The 40th Consecutive Year

Curators describe visitor enthusiasm as 'undiminished by time.'

Ditka Files Add New Folder Marked 'Miscellaneous Toughness'

Contents of the folder remain, as always, self-explanatory.

Windy City Wire Confirms It Is, In Fact, Windy

Meteorologists call the report 'accurate but not groundbreaking.'

Front Office Says Bears Are 'In On Everybody' This Offseason

The phrase now appears in franchise records dating back several regimes.

Johnson Praises Offense's 'Rhythm' After A Drive That Stalled At Midfield

He confirmed the rhythm was, at minimum, present.

Rookie Stunned By Fan Turnout At A Non-Padded Practice

Forty reporters showed up. Six asked about the wind.

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